40 Days of Transformation


For thousands of years, the number 40 has been noted in scripture by our beloved teachers, symbolic as a period of time for self-reflection and transition.

A consecutive 40 day period was noted as a time for resurrection and ascension, suffering and rising from the ashes. The period of 40 days was a time for mourning, a test of temptation and time to rejoice. From all walks of faith, the number 40 is symbolic in the period that we end one cycle or era and begin another. It is about change.

Yogi Bhajan taught his students discipline, patience and perseverance by challenging them to a 40-day sadhana. The students would rise early in the morning during the Amrit Vela (the ambrosial period) while practicing kriya, chanting the jap ji and other beautiful mantras.

Yogi Bhajan taught that by practicing sadhana for 40 days, you develop the inner power to break habits and rewire your mind to operate from a higher vibration.

Sadhana is a preparation to face challenges and remove internal blocks by becoming aware and awakened to all that holds us back from manifestation and reaching our goals. It is about commitment.

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There is something very special and transformational about sadhana. I have practiced sadhana and it completely changed my energetic vibration, even on a deep cellular level that could be strongly noticed. It is powerful.

During that time of meditation, I learned to operate from my higher self and felt at one with my personal power and connection with spirit. This energy can be very challenging and tricky to work with. It is important to find a great teacher to guide you personally, as the thoughts and emotions that are revealed during practicing sadhana can be potent and confusing.

Journaling is an incredible way to self-reflect and sort out the thoughts and emotions that may arise during sadhana.

Deeply rooted issues may reveal themselves and take you down a path of suffering while acknowledging parts of you that need to be healed.

I cannot think of one great success story that didn’t come without its own suffering or sacrifice. It is all very hard work and I am eager to see what I will find on this personal journey over the next 40 days.

I have chosen to begin this path in between two eclipses, on the day Lent begins (Valentines Day), February 14th, 2018.

Right now is a beautiful time of the year to create a habit of practicing self-love.

The eclipses hold powerful energies where drastic changes can be made rather we like it or not. During eclipse time the rug can be pulled from underneath us without warning, causing shock and giving us little to hold onto.

These changes must occur, and most often around eclipses. This happens for us to evolve to the next level of our chosen path. The foundation we had built for ourselves was not strong enough to withstand over the long term.

Therefore it all comes tumbling down, only to be rebuilt again with the knowledge we have acquired during the disaster. The most beautiful part about this process is that we can look back and see a true blessing in the pile of rubble.

Sitting with the unknowing can be challenging as we pull for strings to give us a little insight into where we are headed.

This is a time for introspection and self-reflection, but most importantly, it is a test of faith. What is it that we asked for in August of 2017? Perhaps your wish is coming true, but was it supposed to look like this?

I have come to realize there are habits that are no longer serving me, and I am using this time frame to rid myself of these toxic substances and thought processes that have hindered the evolution of my body, mind and spirit.


There are many forms of addiction, some much more harmful than others though all equally toxic depending on how far we allow it to take us.

We can be addicted to a certain type of relationship dynamic, work that is not fulfilling or patterns that keep showing up in any area of our life.

It is not just about substances.

For me it has been a lack of true self love for the physical aspect of my body.

There is a story behind all of it and I am aware of why I do what I do, however – it has been a struggle to permanently change those aspects within myself.

For many years I have focused mainly on the energies of the subtle body. In doing so, I became very sensitive to the suffering of others.

While I focused on caring for others, I left little energy for myself. I was dying in a bath of empty water. I’d given my cup to others as an offering and at best I was left with a few drops to refuel my energy.

I think there comes a time in our life when something profound shifts inside of us and we are incredibly sick and tired of our own b.s.

I have been contemplating what has been holding me back from reaching my full potential and I am ready to reveal whatever is buried deep inside of me to let it go for the last time.

I have attempted to change habits and patterns several times throughout my life. However, I do believe that cycles do not end until we have learned the lesson from them.

If I am honest with myself, I have never done the work that was required to have an impact during a 40-day challenge. This lack of dedication has showed up in other areas of my life and I am on a search to find where this started and how I can change it.

And I have certainly never been brave enough to hold myself accountable by sharing this with the world.

Over the next 40 days I’ll share my daily routine, spiritual practices and epiphanies no matter how uncensored they may be.

By sharing this experience, I have hope that the reader will find the fire within themselves to embark upon the same journey. I do not know why I have waited so long, though I am happy to be here now.

I am not too proud to admit that I am afraid to fail. But something deep inside is pushing me to face this battle and never look back.

I have attempted this in different ways in the past, but it was not long before I relapsed back to my comforting coping mechanisms. I realize that now about myself and I am ready to take my power back and pull the energy inwards.

I will use the energy manifested through Reiki as a conduit to clear my subtle energy field. This will also assist in becoming aware of the root causes of these ailments, on a deep journey to heal past suffering and let go of thought processes that no longer serve my path.

Perhaps even shaking the core of my belief systems, you never really know what you’re going to get when you start digging.

I think that we become stuck when our visions do not align with who we are today, and we don’t have the tools to get from where we are in the present to where we need to be.

In addition to that – where we need to be and whom we need to be with will look different for all of us. Having a better relationship with self allows us to have better relationships with others. When we realize our own personal truth, it sets us up on a path to grasp what is waiting for us.

For some of us, we may be blocked from furthering our education or advancing in our career. Maybe we are simply unable to take action and our dreams are sitting on a dusty shelf.

Where is this coming from? How can we fix it? Are we waiting for others to come along and provide this insight for us? Is it that we do not realize our own power?

I’d thought I found the tools long ago that worked for others and remarkably I have rarely used them for the greater good of myself. This is sometimes the fate of a selfless healer, but it does not have to be our final destiny.

For the next 40 days I welcome you with an open mind and look forward to sharing this part of my self evolution with all the readers.